How To Keep A Strong Relationship With Your Children
Yahya Ibrahim

Say your job requires you to travel a lot, which means you aren't home that often. Your time with your children and family is then limited. What are some of the ways you can maintain a close and strong relationship with your children?

It's not only about what you need to do, but it's also about what your spouse at home should do...

Shaykh Yahya Ibrahim explains and answers

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Really it's not about just what you need to do, but it's also what your wife or husband needs to do. And usually, it's the husband who sometimes is a little bit of a distance in that regard. See your wife, one of her main jobs is to make you a superhero to your children, especially to your young children, that she needs to let them know when you're away that you're away for a reason. It's not just a holiday or something. You're there because you need to earn for them an income that's halal, that gives them the life that they enjoy. And that becomes a very important thing. A huge duty on your shoulders, my dear sister, to make your husband this Clark Kent by day when he's at home, but he's Superman when he's gone to your children.

Second, it's important as well to consider that you as a father, that when you come home, you shouldn't be the one who now is going to execute all of the things that your wife may not have been able to execute. She might tell you kids, the didn't do their homework, they didn't bathe, this, this, this, and this. So when you come home, everything is command based: do this, do this, do this. Why haven't you done this? Why did you miss your prayer? Rather, it should be something that you value the time that you now have, which is scarce anyway, by practicing with them the things that you would have demanded of them.

So instead of saying, "Why didn't you do your homework?" You say, "Hey, let's do your homework together." And actually sitting down and getting their books out and participating with it. Taking time between you and them in enjoyment, in structured environments of learning, and making time for you and them. That diffuses their fear of you not being there. And the last thing that I say to you is that the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wasallam, he says never is kindness added into anything except it makes it better. So, let's bring kindness into our home as a stepping stone for a healthy relationship.

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